About the Other Side

In a place inside your heart
We are in a dialogue

When I said,
"I need you"
You looked confused
As if believing the opposite

When you said,
"You are a hypocrite"
I said, "I'm not"
Then you said, "you are a liar"
I said, "I'm not"

Suddenly I stopped
Cold sweat all over my face,
And the world became vacant of my attention.

I am afraid.

How can I be sure,
That there is such a place inside your heart.
In which we are in a dialogue,
In which dialogue I rejected all your allegations?

Then, I find calmness
I am sure
By the gesture everyday  you always make
You'll never converse of what I am alleged,
And I am safe.

Deep Blue Condolences

On dry land

Your cold body is awaited

With fragile heart,

And soul trying to stand still

Your address is a mystery

Lying in the deep blue sea

They forgot how it used to be

With you together, celebrating in New Year’s Eve

The news came too fast

And they are not ready

The flashing lights and recorders

Exploit

Are you still around,

Lingering in same space and time?

Have you moved on?

For us it's hard to carry on

Their warmth won't bring you back

Their tears won't satiate your thirst

And their feelings won't connect to you

But in their heart and memory,

Your self will live on.

Nasib

Seorang mahasiswa katanya gelisah dan tertindas.
Suatu malam ia bernyanyi, berjalan dan melamun.
Dia terlindas.

Campur aduk

Lagi berpikir untuk membuat puisi
Tapi banyak hal yang ada dalam kepala
sampai-sampai berpikir hampir tidak bisa.

Belum lagi tugas akhir tahun
Mereka semua membuat hari-hari tidak tenang
Bersyukurlah mereka yang punya kepintaran di atas rata-rata!

Saat membuat ini, perut saya minta dikasih makan
Kadang-kadang kesal
Kenapa harus punya badan?
atau kenapa badan harus dirawat?
Kulit dibasuh, rambut dicuci, gigi disikat.

Kebanyakan berpikir, akan hal yang tidak perlu
Bisa bikin gila.
Pernah saya hampir berpikir buat bunuh diri karena itu,
Tapi untung
Jiwa pengecut menyelamatkan saya.

Sedang ingin pindah planet.
Mungkin Mars
Karena katanya itu yg paling mirip dengan bumi
Sejauh ini, dan sedekat ini

Banyak sekali yang harus ditanggung di bumi
Dan kita ga bisa memilih berhenti dengan mati
Itu lebih ke melarikan diri

Sudah dulu,
Saya lapar
Perut, si badan, minta makan

Tugas minta dikerjakan,
Dan harusnya saya tidak sesantai ini
Prokrastinasi, mencoba menulis puisi

The Students of Natural Science

The hallway always look dark and grey
Although you may think that it must be sad
When it is shined by sunlight, though
You just want to be a part of it

At that time
I frequently complaint
About the lesson that I can't understand
The fear of having too long of my hair
The hallway that's always look dark and grey
And my ability to connect and gaining connection

It's so painful now.
Remembering all the voices,
The noises that I won't be able to hear
anymore.
Remembering the taste of it,
Of its lunch (brunch?) break
Remembering how all of those mixed up
And giving no chance of not missing them.

The smile of her,
The friendship of him,
The terrorizing math
The impossible to understand physics
The always piece of cake English
and the always chained me as a part of it.

Now I'm here writing
Making back of what I've left behind
Realizing,
What was the imperfect,
Is the most perfect thing that I could have.

So long,
Adieu.

A Dying Patient's Last Wish

I want to LIVE!
Forever...

"Fuck Future"

I don't know if I can say it or not,
but recently
I got something that I want to see.
Whether It will happens, or happens not.

Help

My name means salvation
My name means the end of suffering
When my moment ends,
The liberation from fear begins.

I am the one you want
I am the one you would negotiate
Even if you must do unequal exchange
I am the item of your bargain.

When you are lost
When you are powerless
You seek me.
Oh, you will you must.

You often call me sometimes
although I'm not there in front of you,
although I'm not a substance in the air you breathe,
although there's only a slight chance I will be there,
make your order complete.

In this dark woods you called world,
Fear chase you
And so unlucky you
There's nothing else you can do

But you believe in me
You believe you'll escape
You will be sure, you'll see
The sun rising in the morning.

But believe me,
I am a chance,
I am a bet you draw,
I am a random event.
And believe me,
No matter:
How many times you call
How loud you scream
I'm not an instant, absolute conjuree.

And sooner or later, you must accept.
You are alone, powerless, with no place to hide.
And then you'll acknowledge, I'm not a God.

Random #2

I can't think
and it happened.
Time flies, I sways,
It won't wait for me anyway

Then a heart broke
and split into two,
Followed by the world
collapsing in fragments.

East and West
The broken heart made.
A tangled thread the fragments became.

I believe in an instruction,
"to move forward, towards the future,
please select East or West according to your liking."
and it's not life if there is no consequences.

East,
Where you may find peace,
While sleeping and having a feast.
West,
Where you must move your limbs,
seemingly, unrest.

And as if life was made to test,
There's the world, a so-called maze.

I always got something I want to tell
but, our body is a jail.

Our body is options,
and our thoughts choose,
and our hands do actions.

I am a bunch of options.
I chose.
I didn't act.
Then born to the world:
a body, a jail I chose to live in.

Mari Men(jadi)jomblo

Mari menjadi jomblo
Karena kita belum dewasa
Karena kita masih memandang cinta sebagai alat
Cinta sebagai alat memuaskan
Untuk segala tujuan.

Mari menjadi jomblo
Karena kita masih bego
Bego terhadap cinta
dan bego untuk cinta
Karena kita masih terlalu rendah
Karena kita belum menginjak tanah cinta sesungguhnya.

Mari menjadi jomblo
Mari berhenti sejenak
Mari berpikir sejenak
Mari merenung sejenak

Untuk apa terjatuh ke dalam cinta?
Untuk apa cinta?
Untuk apa menjalani cinta?
Siapkah menjalani cinta?
CINTA ITU APA?

WE

We are all
MEN

We bear the same
NAME

sin sin sin
sin sin sin
sin sin sin sin

SIN SIN SIN
SIN SIN SIN
SIN SIN SIN SIN

Everyone, everywhere.

"You"

You are a beauty
and you won't grow

Everyday I will see you
Everyday I will miss you

You are a friend and,
I want you to be my friend

Since we always meet in the same hallway
In the same hour, every lunch break and,
every busy hour.

You stand still.

If I could
I would dance with you

If I could
I would hold you

If I could
I would kiss you

If I could
I would love you.

You, who bear no name,
You goddamn picture in a frame.

Thank you

Thank you God for making me a star
Thank you God, for making me a mockery
Thank you God, for taking my soul away some time in the future
and store it somewhere.

Heart

It's sad to see you now,
a pathetic living thing.

you cannot feel
you cannot taste
you won't eat
you won't sleep
you cannot cry
you cannot smile
you failed to exist
you cannot understand anything
your world is blue.

I'm sorry,
I'm the one who stole your heart from you.

...

"put my eyes back, I need it."

"No you don't need it, you are a fool."

"Put my eyes back, I need it, I can't see."

"No you don't, you are a fool and you seldom see."

"Put my eyes back god-damn it, I can't see you."

"Fuck you. You broke your promise."

To the Lost Ones

We will miss you
We will miss you
We'll be missing you
We'll be missing you

You're so special.

We love you.

Watching

You are watching
You are being watched

You are enjoying
You are being disturbed

You are seeing
You are being blindfolded

Now, let us take a look
"Oh, what a rating! Make them watch!
Make them watch watch watch!"

You are watching
You are under others' control
You are watching
You lose it all.

Lust lust lust

Now you're naked
and I see you while smiling
Now you are used
You are a tool
You satisfy
The lustful blood that doesn't have
A head or eyes.

Useless

Wash it
Wash it
You wash it again

Wash it
Wash it
Like it's the only gold remain.

Wash it
Wash it..
Crap! the rain came.

Wash it
Wash it
Wash it again

Once got clean
It won't remain.

Me

I will fade, just try me
I will fall, just push me
I will be unknown, just forget me
But through it all, still,
I will be ME.