Nasib

Seorang mahasiswa katanya gelisah dan tertindas.
Suatu malam ia bernyanyi, berjalan dan melamun.
Dia terlindas.

Campur aduk

Lagi berpikir untuk membuat puisi
Tapi banyak hal yang ada dalam kepala
sampai-sampai berpikir hampir tidak bisa.

Belum lagi tugas akhir tahun
Mereka semua membuat hari-hari tidak tenang
Bersyukurlah mereka yang punya kepintaran di atas rata-rata!

Saat membuat ini, perut saya minta dikasih makan
Kadang-kadang kesal
Kenapa harus punya badan?
atau kenapa badan harus dirawat?
Kulit dibasuh, rambut dicuci, gigi disikat.

Kebanyakan berpikir, akan hal yang tidak perlu
Bisa bikin gila.
Pernah saya hampir berpikir buat bunuh diri karena itu,
Tapi untung
Jiwa pengecut menyelamatkan saya.

Sedang ingin pindah planet.
Mungkin Mars
Karena katanya itu yg paling mirip dengan bumi
Sejauh ini, dan sedekat ini

Banyak sekali yang harus ditanggung di bumi
Dan kita ga bisa memilih berhenti dengan mati
Itu lebih ke melarikan diri

Sudah dulu,
Saya lapar
Perut, si badan, minta makan

Tugas minta dikerjakan,
Dan harusnya saya tidak sesantai ini
Prokrastinasi, mencoba menulis puisi

The Students of Natural Science

The hallway always look dark and grey
Although you may think that it must be sad
When it is shined by sunlight, though
You just want to be a part of it

At that time
I frequently complaint
About the lesson that I can't understand
The fear of having too long of my hair
The hallway that's always look dark and grey
And my ability to connect and gaining connection

It's so painful now.
Remembering all the voices,
The noises that I won't be able to hear
anymore.
Remembering the taste of it,
Of its lunch (brunch?) break
Remembering how all of those mixed up
And giving no chance of not missing them.

The smile of her,
The friendship of him,
The terrorizing math
The impossible to understand physics
The always piece of cake English
and the always chained me as a part of it.

Now I'm here writing
Making back of what I've left behind
Realizing,
What was the imperfect,
Is the most perfect thing that I could have.

So long,
Adieu.

A Dying Patient's Last Wish

I want to LIVE!
Forever...

"Fuck Future"

I don't know if I can say it or not,
but recently
I got something that I want to see.
Whether It will happens, or happens not.

Help

My name means salvation
My name means the end of suffering
When my moment ends,
The liberation from fear begins.

I am the one you want
I am the one you would negotiate
Even if you must do unequal exchange
I am the item of your bargain.

When you are lost
When you are powerless
You seek me.
Oh, you will you must.

You often call me sometimes
although I'm not there in front of you,
although I'm not a substance in the air you breathe,
although there's only a slight chance I will be there,
make your order complete.

In this dark woods you called world,
Fear chase you
And so unlucky you
There's nothing else you can do

But you believe in me
You believe you'll escape
You will be sure, you'll see
The sun rising in the morning.

But believe me,
I am a chance,
I am a bet you draw,
I am a random event.
And believe me,
No matter:
How many times you call
How loud you scream
I'm not an instant, absolute conjuree.

And sooner or later, you must accept.
You are alone, powerless, with no place to hide.
And then you'll acknowledge, I'm not a God.

Random #2

I can't think
and it happened.
Time flies, I sways,
It won't wait for me anyway

Then a heart broke
and split into two,
Followed by the world
collapsing in fragments.

East and West
The broken heart made.
A tangled thread the fragments became.

I believe in an instruction,
"to move forward, towards the future,
please select East or West according to your liking."
and it's not life if there is no consequences.

East,
Where you may find peace,
While sleeping and having a feast.
West,
Where you must move your limbs,
seemingly, unrest.

And as if life was made to test,
There's the world, a so-called maze.

I always got something I want to tell
but, our body is a jail.

Our body is options,
and our thoughts choose,
and our hands do actions.

I am a bunch of options.
I chose.
I didn't act.
Then born to the world:
a body, a jail I chose to live in.

Mari Men(jadi)jomblo

Mari menjadi jomblo
Karena kita belum dewasa
Karena kita masih memandang cinta sebagai alat
Cinta sebagai alat memuaskan
Untuk segala tujuan.

Mari menjadi jomblo
Karena kita masih bego
Bego terhadap cinta
dan bego untuk cinta
Karena kita masih terlalu rendah
Karena kita belum menginjak tanah cinta sesungguhnya.

Mari menjadi jomblo
Mari berhenti sejenak
Mari berpikir sejenak
Mari merenung sejenak

Untuk apa terjatuh ke dalam cinta?
Untuk apa cinta?
Untuk apa menjalani cinta?
Siapkah menjalani cinta?
CINTA ITU APA?

WE

We are all
MEN

We bear the same
NAME

sin sin sin
sin sin sin
sin sin sin sin

SIN SIN SIN
SIN SIN SIN
SIN SIN SIN SIN

Everyone, everywhere.

"You"

You are a beauty
and you won't grow

Everyday I will see you
Everyday I will miss you

You are a friend and,
I want you to be my friend

Since we always meet in the same hallway
In the same hour, every lunch break and,
every busy hour.

You stand still.

If I could
I would dance with you

If I could
I would hold you

If I could
I would kiss you

If I could
I would love you.

You, who bear no name,
You goddamn picture in a frame.

Thank you

Thank you God for making me a star
Thank you God, for making me a mockery
Thank you God, for taking my soul away some time in the future
and store it somewhere.

Heart

It's sad to see you now,
a pathetic living thing.

you cannot feel
you cannot taste
you won't eat
you won't sleep
you cannot cry
you cannot smile
you failed to exist
you cannot understand anything
your world is blue.

I'm sorry,
I'm the one who stole your heart from you.

...

"put my eyes back, I need it."

"No you don't need it, you are a fool."

"Put my eyes back, I need it, I can't see."

"No you don't, you are a fool and you seldom see."

"Put my eyes back god-damn it, I can't see you."

"Fuck you. You broke your promise."

To the Lost Ones

We will miss you
We will miss you
We'll be missing you
We'll be missing you

You're so special.

We love you.

Watching

You are watching
You are being watched

You are enjoying
You are being disturbed

You are seeing
You are being blindfolded

Now, let us take a look
"Oh, what a rating! Make them watch!
Make them watch watch watch!"

You are watching
You are under others' control
You are watching
You lose it all.

Lust lust lust

Now you're naked
and I see you while smiling
Now you are used
You are a tool
You satisfy
The lustful blood that doesn't have
A head or eyes.

Useless

Wash it
Wash it
You wash it again

Wash it
Wash it
Like it's the only gold remain.

Wash it
Wash it..
Crap! the rain came.

Wash it
Wash it
Wash it again

Once got clean
It won't remain.

Me

I will fade, just try me
I will fall, just push me
I will be unknown, just forget me
But through it all, still,
I will be ME.

About Nessa and her Bronchitis

Nessa is struggling
Nessa is having bronchitis
Nessa is struggling
But, Nessa will never give up and fade.

Layar kaca

di layar kaca
ada Raja Kera
bersama Kapten Lee
mereka memainkan gitar.

Di bawahnya, ada yang berkomentar.
Dan tak seharusnya aku melihat komentar.

Kapten Lee dan Raja Kera memainkan gitar
Aku tersadar.
Kapten Lee tidak disukai Raja Kera
terlihat dari petikannya Raja Kera
Lalu aku klik tombol "pause".
dan membiarkan layar kaca buyar.

Ketika kembali ke saat itu

Saat itu 11 juni
aku flu
tapi aku bahagia

saat itu 11 juni
bukan 12 juni
ketika aku berbalas
kata dengan
layar kaca..

Kalau cinta itu Tuhan
maka aku telah berdosa kepadanya.

Orang yang mengkhianati tuhan adalah musyrik

dan pada 11 juni,
dan setelahnya,
aku semakin yakin kalau aku ini telah musyrik

tidak seharusnya membuat cinta menjadi dua

Kalau cinta itu Tuhan
maka cinta seharusnya esa

dan bagi yang menduakan
akan menanggung pahitnya karma.

dan aku sedang mengalaminya.

Mengalami yang seharusnya hanya kutanggung satu
kini terpecah jadi dua.
bingung sudah.

Saat itu 11 juni
aku sedang flu
saat inipun aku masih flu.
11 juni jadi saksi bisu yang melepas sumbat dari dalam tenggorokannya
merobek perekat pekat yang membuat buta matanya.
Ia menunjuk.

Saat itu 11 juni.
aku dan layar kaca bertukar kata.
dan aku terlalu bangga
mungkin karena pengaruh obat flu
atau apapun itu.
tanpa alasan apapun,
cinta semestinya esa, semestinya satu.

sekarang aku masih flu.
dan kalau kamu mau tau
layar kaca itu
layar kaca itu
mau tau
aku masih flu
dan Vitamin C mungkin akan
membantu
akan
mungkin
Vitamin C
membantu.

It's real and already happened

Not going to make a pathetic, meaningless post this time. This time I want to express what I feel toward THIS THING that was a part of my childhood and part of all music enthusiasts, and that is cassettes.

To begin with, I took interest on music release in the form of a magnetic sheets, rolled inside a squarish containment, a cassette when I was a 5 or 6 grader. I don't want to make myself as if i were a more mature child among my friends at that time because I still made myself out of boredom with plastic and metallic toys. I can be said as "weird" at that time in terms of my music preferences. While everyone was so hyped listening and praising Peterpan, Ada band, Padi, Sheila on 7 and such, I was, mostly, listening to artists other than that, Foreign artists. Again, I'm not making myself as if I were "above" everyone but that's the truth. Of course I listened to Base Jam, also Peterpan, also Sheila on 7, and others because in the past they still released good musics, compared to nowadays. But, I really remembered I (quite) listened to non-domestic artists a lot.
I believe my first encounter of non-domestic music that made me love them has to be the responsibility of Coldplay's "Clocks". Before "Clocks" I had known and listened their "In My Place", but at that time I don't like it. Unfortunately, the media I listened to the track was not a legal media. It was a CD burned with music tracks. I also remembered that I also love the tracks besides "Clocks" that was included in the CD, and they are: Aqua (if i'm not mistaken) "Turn Back Time", (I forgot who the artist is) "Juxtaposed With You", and others. I was so in love with "Clocks" that when Coldplay released their third album "X & Y" I also recorded "Clocks" into the cassette that contained the whole album's tracks, making (as if) it a bonus track. Since then, "Clocks" is one of many tracks that I still listen to until now, along with the band's "X & Y".
Finished with coldplay I found out that The Killers' debut album "Hot Fuss" and Robbie Williams "Intensive Care" sound astounding. Hot Fuss, for me, without a doubt, is the band's best release so far. As for "Intensive Care", I can't say much about it since I am not yet listening to Robbie Williams' releases other than that, but I think it's one of good releases of Williams.

Time flies and music, along with its industry, progressed. I was so surprised to know that all this time I had been blindfolded by music in its digital form, the mp3 file and others. Blindfolded? well of course it is, I was. For I never have the thought that the one that constructed my past, one of the parts of it, are getting and even already disappeared. That is, the cassette. Well, it doesn't mean that I'm not grateful or happy with mp3s, I'm glad it was invented, I am, because without such progress and invention I wouldn't be able to listen to music anytime and anywhere and I guess progression, on whatever it is, brought goodness and badness.
The extinction of cassettes is one of the badness of digital music form invention. But then, of course, why? Cassette is so yesterday, it's not reliable, it's quite troublesome, why am I still sad for it? I guess it's because the concept (or whatever anyone would call it) of "energy" one of my docents introduced me to it.
This "energy", more or less, is the way things are used to be according to my comprehension of the concept. The way things are used to be includes: the way it works, the way we use it, the way it gives peculiar experience to us, the way it became a part of us. It's so hard to  know the good old cassettes had gone, and it's so hard to explain why it is so hard to let go of it. I believe, as I had mentioned it before, the way it became a part of us plays a good role. There are melancholic persons, but I guess everyone in general loves to reminisce, to remember their past just because the past had become so exotic, so peculiar because we had left it, moved on from it too far to where we are now. The part of us we lost of means that we will never taste, feel, or see it again anymore. It would be hard for us to experience our own past again without the means that helps us come back to it again, and all reasons I have made I consider them as the answer why it's so hard to let one part of our past, our memory go and why the cassette is very important, memory wise.

Nonetheless the reasons, the blabbering I have made, there are no reason to stuck still in the past, we got to move on. It's sad but it's also a thing to be proud of, knowing the almost (or already) extinct audio cassettes. Because, and I mean.. look at them vinyls! They were the ones who got extinct first before audio cassettes, and look at them now, becoming one of special releases form when an artist releases a new material to the public. Them gramophones still exists, though the authentic, the ones coming from the golden age of gramophone, is still rare.
I believe, cassettes, sooner or later, will be treated the same too, judging the way artists treats vinyls nowadays, as well as radio-tape.
Cassettes may not existing in the way we used to know now, but nonetheless, some time later and somewhere we would find them cassettes again in their new level of existence and of public recognition.      

In case of any odds..

I gave up my body to the ocean of the world
I let my pride to become a comedy
Everyone can laugh about it

I know that somebody notice
I know that somebody notice

I defy the crowd
I distract my sight
against something I think it's pleasant

But still,
My skin's tingling
and everyone's still watching

I know everybody notice
I know everybody notice

Now, maybe,
I must find the pill
I must take the pill
I must obey the pill
For a better tomorrow that I still cant find.

Random #1

At the park I saw you sing
I closed my eyes
Didn't even want to think

I tried to lie
But there my eyes
went to nowhere
tried to defy

I couldn't wait for tomorrow
and you're not something that
I can just borrow

Maybe I should be
a little bit patient
I was a little bit struck by
a little bit emotion

Now I will never know
where I should go
Now I just saw you swing
Now I cant think

Puisi Patah Hati

Mari putar kunci kamar
dua kali ke arah kanan
Buat kamar gelap
rebah, lalu renungkan
Mari...

Mari pasang earphone
atau getarkan diafragma
loudspeaker
dengan lagu sendu
Mari...

Mari bayangkan
di sebuah mal terkenal
Berjalan berdua
Makan berdua
Bayar satu untuk berdua
Mari bayangkan
Mari...

Mari mulai melipatgandakan
rasa sedih, miris, ditolak
mentah-mentah
Mari mulai menikmati rasa
yang merangsang kerja
kelenjar air mata
Mari...

Mari berharap
Air hujan turun
sederas-derasnya
dan, demi Tuhan
biarkan menimpa jatuh
di tempat mereka yang
berdua-dua bergumul
Mari berharap
Suara air yang jatuh
makin membuat hanyut
hati yang sudah jatuh
Mari..

Mari ulangi semuanya
Ulangi semuanya
yang di atas
kembali
Mari...

Sampai capek membuat
kantuk
dan kantuk menjadi pulas
dan pulas membawa mimpi
sampai mimpi memberi bunga;
Kamu sedang berjalan berdua
di dalamnya.
Biarkan yang indah bertahan
walau cuma sesaat
dan walau hanya ilusi
Biarlah saat terbangun nanti
letih hati, irama sendu,
kamar gelap dan
semua harapan
akan turun hujan
datang lagi.
M-A-R-I....

This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

I'm going haywire because of..

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

Repetition, intensity are recognition that is why there's..

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

When recognition flew away, attraction is a way
to draw recognition, attraction is repetition that's why there's..

                                  This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
                                                                      This sense of melancholy
                                      This sense of melancholy

                                                                       This sense of melancholy
                                         This sense of melancholy
                               This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
                                  This sense of melancholy
                                                                   This sense of melancholy
                                                                                                   This sense of melancholy

This is libido, Sigmund said.
And who am I if not one of his believers
This sex drive summons...

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

Oh, I fail to conjure
I fail to endure
Those are all failures...

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy
This sense of melancholy

Feed me recognition

Feed me
            Feed me
                       Feed me
             Feed me
Feed me
             Feed me
                       Feed me
             Feed me
Feed me
             Feed me
                        Feed me
                                   Feed me
                                               Feed me
                                                          Feed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed me
Feed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed me
Feed me
Feed me
Feed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me
Feed meFeed meFeed meFeed meFeed me

-COGNITION

Hypocrite(s) React(s)

You fool
shut up!
Mine is the only one
speaking.
MINE'S THE ONLY ONE SPEAKING!
Goddamit.

Anyway,
The world is great
There are lots of friends
and fools also.

What are you saying?
What the fcuk are you saying?!
I was wrong?! FUKC NO!

I am a God
and I will always be a God!

You are all fools
Imbeciles
Idiots
In a garbage dump named THE WORLD!

You are all suck.
Let me pass
Enlighten you with
These things I know
Whatever.

dON'T REASON WITH ME!
I am an absolute
You have abolished the law of the world,
MY WORLD!

Siht.
If I only able to..
Able to terminate you all guys.
I could.
Don't tease me
I COULD.

I would have poisoned your well
But no.
It's not right.
You are all I need
You are all I need

you are you are you are you are you are you are you are you are
all I all I all I all I all I all I all I all I all I all I all I
I Need I Need I Need I Need I Need I Need I Need I Need I Need
Need Need Need Need Need Need Need Need
Need? Need? Need? Need? Need? Need? Need? Need?
Need?! Need?! Need?! Need?! Need?! Need?! Need?! Need?!
NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED NEED !!!!!!!!

SHIT!!!
YOU ARE ALL I NEED
AND FUCK!
YOU ARE ALL I NEED!
andiamnothing
YOU ARE ALL I NEED!!!

What Is It (?)

What is love?
Like,
Really. What is love?

It's a hypothesis
That only wants to be
unproven.

Love is a question
That makes you bored
That is wearisome
Troublesome
Needed not to be answered.

Love is a drug
That makes you high
and eventually
gives you cry
Needed not to lose its addiction

Love is a hypothesis
Love is a make-use item
Love is a tool, to make bunch of fools
Love is lust, you'd like to drown in it

Love would like
to hate scientists
Love would kill
one's logic
Love would kill itself
Love would kill one's self

Love gives, love takes.

FiksMin #4

Bagaimana cara menulis puisi yang miris? menulis puisi yang miris akan sangat mudah dilakukan bila menemukan keadaan yang tepat. Dan kenapa seseorang ingin menulis sebuah tulisan yang bernada miris? karena, ia butuh perhatian dan butuh "bahu-untuk-dibasahi-dengan-air-matanya". Seseorang akan dipastikan berhasil menulis secara miris bila... dia menulis ketika... tak ada teman untuk bicara, lingkungan yang membuatnya hina, seperti membuatnya bukan apa-apa, bukan sesuatu untuk diacuhkan di tengah keramaian. Seseorang akan bisa dipastikan berhasil menulis ketika.. dia sudah.. tidak tahan dengan hidupnya lagi.. hendak menghabisi nyawa yang hanya berlaku satu kali.. menulis dengan ditemani racun tikus dan silet di meja tulis. Bagaimana cara menulis puisi yang miris? Pikirkan sendiri! saya sibuk. Dasar manusia, gak bisa mikir! pake tuh otak! Liat pake mata! Liat pake hati! Pake buat liat orang, bukan kaya hape, benda mati! Peduli dong sama orang, yang hidup, bukan yang mati! dasar bedebah, saya bedebah!
Sudah saja, sudah malam. Saya lelah, dan syukurlah... masih ada gunting tajam di dekat meja.

FiksMin #3

Seorang pria menemui seorang wanita untuk menyampaikan kata terakhir sebelum dia menghilang:
"Maaf..."
"Oke."
Si pria lenyap dalam debu.
Si wanita melenggang pergi.
Baginya dunia masih berputar,
Kehidupan masih sama,
Bernafas dengan leluasa,
Semua sempurna,
Tak ada yang pernah hilang.

FiksMin #2

Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia menuntut. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia meninggalkanmu sendirian. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena denganmu ia tidak mau berteman. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena setelah menuntut, meninggalkanmu , tak mau berteman denganmu, ia menyadarkanmu kalau kamu harus tidak berteman dengan siapapun. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia membiarkanmu merasa; merasakan segalanya. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman. Ia tidak pernah membiarkanmu tenang dalam pretensimu, kepura-puraanmu, kepalsuanmu, permainanmu dari kenyataan kalau kamu sendirian karena ia menuntutmu untuk berteman. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena setiap hari ia memakanmu hidup-hidup, menggerogoti sisa umurmu sampai kamu dipaksa menyesal karena kamu tinggal memiliki sedikit waktu untuk menikmati hari-hari. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman. Ia menjauhkanmu dari teman-teman terbaikmu, kekayaanmu yang sebenarnya, darimu. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman, Ia membuatmu berangan-angan. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia membuatmu membayangkan tentang berapa banyak orang yang menangisi kepergianmu darinya, bila suatu saat itu datang padamu. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman, ia akan menipumu. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia akan menipumu untuk membuang kamu: sampah kehidupan, dari dalam dirinya dengan memanfaatkanmu. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman, ia yang memotivasimu untuk menelan racun. Kehidupan adalah kekejaman, ia yang membuat kematian menjemput dan meninggalkanmu di belakang. Pada akhirnya kehidupan adalah kekejaman karena ia tak akan pernah membiarkanmu hidup untuk kesempatan ke dua untuk merasakan dan tahu berapa banyak yang menangisi kepergianmu, berapa banyak yang menyesal ketika kamu pergi, berapa yang sangat mengharapkanmu untuk kembali, berapa banyak yang akan mengenangmu habis-habisan.

Kehidupan adalah kekejaman, ia tak akan semudah itu membiarkanmu pergi.   

FiksMin #1

Aku melamun duduk di depan hamparan ombak. Menunggu matahari terbenam di perbatasan cakrawala. Ini bukan hari libur, jadi tempat ini tidak ramai. Tempat ini sepi. Angin dan ombak saling bertukar suara. Sementara pasir diam dan, terkadang, pasrah terbawa angin. Sangat berbeda rasanya bila kita sedang menunggu. Satu detik seperti dilipatgandakan menjadi seratus ribu. Matahari sedang tenggelam di cakrawala dan aku sedang melamun. Mempertanyakan apa yang sudah aku mulai dan tidak bisa aku hentikan. Suatu ironi. Waktu terlalu sedikit dan penuaan datang setiap hari. Aku sudah tidak punya waktu lagi. Matahari tenggelam, baru saja, di bawah cakrawala. Dari sini terlihat seperti lautan yang menelannya. Aku ingin menjadi lupa, aku ingin menjadi tidak ingat, aku ingin menjadi tidak pernah ada. Masalahnya, buat apa dan bisa apa berbagai kontradiksi dan ironi yang berada terhadap sesuatu yang tidak ada atau tidak pernah ada? Tidak ada! Aku membayangkan aku melompat ke laut dan membiarkannya menelanku hidup-hidup. Dimakan hiu, tercerai-berai, terurai, hilang. Tapi aku tidak bisa.

Jadi aku akan hidup lagi (untuk) besok, dan besoknya lagi, dan besoknya lagi, besok dari besoknya lagi, besoknya setelah besoknya besok lagi. Untuk kembali terdiam, melamun, bertanya, kebingungan, dan membayangkan bila aku melompat ke laut; terurai, tercerai-berai, dan hilang dari muka bumi. 

Decaying

Honey, we got a problem;
The universe keeps expanding
and
we are decaying.

You'll be less and less
and less
and less
beautiful than you are today.

I'll be less and less
and less
and less
Charming than I am today.

We'll be less and less
and less
and less
strong than we are today.

We'll be more and more
and more
and more
forgetful what we are, we were, what we had been doing.

Honey, there's a problem.
I can't remember what we were talking.
I can't remember the first time we kiss.
I can't remember why you cannot bear an infant.

Honey, there's a problem.
I'm not me anymore.
You're not you anymore.
We are not a couple we used to be.

Honey, the universe keeps expanding; we are getting small.
Honey, we are decaying; our golden age falls.

Honey, I forgot.
Why I fear death?
Why I fear these wrinkles?
Why I am suddenly being afraid of the world?

Honey I forgot..
I forgot to count
Our cherished memories..
Those sweet sweet words..
and I forgot to count
How long we've been decaying..
Before we're finally reduced to ashes.

April - Juni

April
sampai Juni
Matahari teronggok di pinggir jalan
Tikus-tikus rakus berkeliaran
Manusia yang telanjang dengan baju
Manusia yang mengarahkan anus ke mukamu

Jangan pergi ke luar rumah
Jika takut dirimu dijarah

Oh Friedrich! Demi Tuhan!! Selamatkan aku!!!
Jangan diam terus di dalam buku!

"Mau coblos siapa nanti?"
"Hatimu kalau bisa aku"
"Seriuslah.."
"Gak tahu. gak akan kayanya"
"Lha kenapa? haram itu!"
"Sial, aku harusnya tak beragama saja dari dulu."

Dan semua ini tidak bisa menghentikan:
- Pohon yang berdarah di pinggir jalan
- Tampang-tampang munafik di layar kaca
- Perburuan akan kuasa
- orang-orang yang dimanfaatkan
- Gadis-gadis yang ditipu dan menjual badan
-dst..
-dst.
-dst...

Sungguh Friedrich, keluar dari sana.
Sebelum April sampai Juni (dan seterusnya) membunuhku dari dalam.

Aku Menenggak Racun Setiap Hari

Aku menenggak racun setiap hari
Atas..
Hati yang rusak
Ide yang berkarat
Tubuh penuh peluh
dan Sunyi yang memecahbelah

Aku menenggak racun setiap hari
Menghindari..
Hantu masa lalu
Hidup yang kacau
Panik yang meracau
dan semua-yang-tidak-bisa-diterima dari diri ini

Aku menenggak racun setiap hari
Untuk..
Membunuh cinta palsu dalam hati
(Mencoba) pura-pura mati
Demi simpati, dan
Untuk menulis kegelisahan yang tak akan pernah berbalas

Mereka memaksaku meneguk racun setiap hari
Karena..
Itu adalah propaganda
Kepercayaan artifisial
Tuhan buatan manusia
dan
Baris terdepan di hari akhir.

Dan racun itu habis
Panik meracau
Kehidupan kacau
Jalan habis
Hati rusak
Ide rusak
Aku punah.

Negeri di atas Bumi dan Matahari

Aku memperhatikan penguasa
Lalu, dia meludah ke arahku
Aku terkejut sampai tubuhku kejang
Tapi ia tak memperhatikan

Aku lupakan penguasa
Kini aku panen di ladang
Semua hasil jerih payah terbakar
Saat aku tak awas
Penguasa melahapnya puas.

Aku kesal, lalu aku nyanyikan sebuah lagu
antitirani
Mulutku dipaku
Paku-paku itu panas, melelehkan daging
Merekatkan paku dan mulutku, sampai garing

Katanya aku telah berkhianat
Memfitnah penguasa yang apatis dan alpa
Nyatanya, sengaja.

Disini aku sekarang
Di atas tanah gersang pemakaman
Aku geram.

Ada belati dan racun di kedua tangan
Dua jalan yang cepat
yang lambat
yang sangat cepat
'Tuk mengantarku pergi
Ke negeri diatas bumi dan matahari

Sekarang tinggal tersisa pertanyaan
Beranikah aku lari menyerah?
dan
Kenapa aku takut hidup tak mengalah?

Just Because, Just 'Because'

Because I think, I create reason
Because I can reason, I tell

Because I can tell, I confuse
Because I can confuse, I trick

Because I can trick, I can lie
Because I lie, I stop lying

Because I stop lying, I give truths
Because I must give truths, I reason

Just because I can reason, I use it
Because I use it to escape and to dodge

Because I can escape, I can't stay
Just because I can't stay, I can't escape

Because I can't escape, I reason
Just because I reason, I am confused

Because I am confused, I think
Just because I think, I am alive

Because I am alive, then I must be existent
But Just because I must be existent, it doesn't mean I exist
Just because I exist, I have to live
But just because I have to live, I don't have to reason
to lie
to trick
to escape
Because I just have to think and to reason.